Isn't it amazing how the smallest little thing can completely brighten up your day? I've been so down lately. I realized I was, and I was allowing myself to feel that way. It was completely in my control, but I was letting the situation control me.
I've decided to let it be. That situation is completely over. Thank God. And I'm the one who decided it would be over, and that I wasn't going to let it effect my life negatively any more.
I've taken control of that area of my life. And, being on the other side of it, I see how emotionally draining it was. But I also see WHY I went through it. I learned a lot about myself. Good things, as well as bad things. Things I need to work on and change. Things I need to emphasize. Things I need to allow others to see.
I have a wise friend. A friend who sat down with me and had an open, honest conversation about letting things happen in their own time. This friend helped me to see how rushing into situations just opened it up for hurt. Rushing hasn't worked in the past, why would I expect it to be any different this time around?
So, I'm trying things a different way. I know who I am SO MUCH more than I did a few months ago. And you know what? I LIKE who I am! And I don't need to be validated by someone else. I just have to let it be. And allow nature to take it's course. Even if it takes longer than I'd like it to take. It will all be worth it in the end. Time will tell. Time will tell. Time will tell...... Let it be.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Back On Track
It's Sunday. It's the first day of a brand new week.
Last week is over. It's gone forever. It only lives in a few pictures and our memories. And in my butt.
The guys were on Spring break last week. We had a great time. Here's a quick rundown of what we did:
Monday~ San Diego time! We drove down to hang with my sisters, bro-in-law, and niece. I ate like crap.
Tuesday~ Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Super cute movie. I caved to the movie popcorn and red licorice. Pizza for dinner. I ate like crap.
Wednesday~ Retirement part for my sweet teacher, Nan. The guys were, for the most part, great. After the party, we drove to Orange County, back home, back to Orange County to watch the Angels game. I ate like crap.
Thursday~ Lake Perris! It was beautiful! And we're back to Orange County for another Angels game. I ate like crap.
Friday~ How to Train Your Dragon. Another super cute movie. More movie popcorn. More red licorice. Add a box of Milk Duds. I ate like crap.
Saturday~ Girls Night Out!! I ate like crap, but managed to SKIP the movie popcorn this time!
I'm SO looking forward to weighing in on Tuesday!
Last week is over. It's gone forever. It only lives in a few pictures and our memories. And in my butt.
The guys were on Spring break last week. We had a great time. Here's a quick rundown of what we did:
Monday~ San Diego time! We drove down to hang with my sisters, bro-in-law, and niece. I ate like crap.
Tuesday~ Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Super cute movie. I caved to the movie popcorn and red licorice. Pizza for dinner. I ate like crap.
Wednesday~ Retirement part for my sweet teacher, Nan. The guys were, for the most part, great. After the party, we drove to Orange County, back home, back to Orange County to watch the Angels game. I ate like crap.
Thursday~ Lake Perris! It was beautiful! And we're back to Orange County for another Angels game. I ate like crap.
Friday~ How to Train Your Dragon. Another super cute movie. More movie popcorn. More red licorice. Add a box of Milk Duds. I ate like crap.
Saturday~ Girls Night Out!! I ate like crap, but managed to SKIP the movie popcorn this time!
I'm SO looking forward to weighing in on Tuesday!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
A Realization
I had a realization yesterday. And for me, it was a doozy.
I don't know how to date.
For real. I was married when I was 19 years old. And after my divorce, I didn't date. I fell right into relationships. THAT'S what I know how to do. I know how to be in a relationship.
Here's the problem, as I see it. Most men want to date.
Here's what I'm used to. Meet man. Give man phone number. Man calls. Man and I get together. Man and I become inseparable.
See my problem? I'm afraid my problem is making me come of as clingy, needy, even psycho.
I freaking HATE dating.
I don't know how to date.
For real. I was married when I was 19 years old. And after my divorce, I didn't date. I fell right into relationships. THAT'S what I know how to do. I know how to be in a relationship.
Here's the problem, as I see it. Most men want to date.
Here's what I'm used to. Meet man. Give man phone number. Man calls. Man and I get together. Man and I become inseparable.
See my problem? I'm afraid my problem is making me come of as clingy, needy, even psycho.
I freaking HATE dating.
Monday, March 8, 2010
He's Just Not That Into You
by Greg Behrendt This book, I swear, should be required reading for ALL women! The topic closest to my heart at the moment is mixed signals. Someone saying they'd do something, then they don't. Really, how long does an "I'm thinking about you" text take. 30 seconds, if that?
Yep. I'm rereading He's Just Not That Into You. It's a very empowering book. But I think a lot of it isn't true. All right, not really. I just CHOOSE to think that the more 'hurtful' parts aren't true. Because I'm wonderful! And I'm worth a 30 second text. I am! Greg told me so. And he's never lied to me in the past. Well, except for the parts of his book I don't like.
See how I can go around and around about this? And make it work to my advantage? I'm just that good. Or not.
But I don't want to be pushy. I don't want to seem desperate. Because I'm really not either of these things. And I don't need to be. Because I'm worth more than that. I am! Greg told me so!
I deserve to be with a man who can't NOT think about me. I deserve to be with a man who doesn't mind picking up his phone (even as he's just walking to the bathroom or something) to let me know he's thinking about me. Greg told me so.
Men, DO THIS! It will make her day!
And if you DON'T do this, it will make her very sad in her heart. And the girls who haven't read this book will think that's all right. That it's 'normal' to feel that way. That it's part of life. Which is also true. When you're with a loser. Greg told me so.
What is awesome, though, is when he chooses to spend time with you. Even if he's not feeling well. Even if it's super late at night. It makes a girl feel like the 'smokin' hot superfox' that she is. (I must be that smokin' hot superfox! Greg told me so!)
So, men, please see that it really takes so little to make a girl feel important. If you're into her, just let her know! It doesn't take much! A text. A phone call. An unassuming evening spent talking. A television show you watch together giggling about. Simple things. That add up to a whole lot. I'm just sayin'!!
Yep. I'm rereading He's Just Not That Into You. It's a very empowering book. But I think a lot of it isn't true. All right, not really. I just CHOOSE to think that the more 'hurtful' parts aren't true. Because I'm wonderful! And I'm worth a 30 second text. I am! Greg told me so. And he's never lied to me in the past. Well, except for the parts of his book I don't like.
See how I can go around and around about this? And make it work to my advantage? I'm just that good. Or not.
But I don't want to be pushy. I don't want to seem desperate. Because I'm really not either of these things. And I don't need to be. Because I'm worth more than that. I am! Greg told me so!
I deserve to be with a man who can't NOT think about me. I deserve to be with a man who doesn't mind picking up his phone (even as he's just walking to the bathroom or something) to let me know he's thinking about me. Greg told me so.
Men, DO THIS! It will make her day!
And if you DON'T do this, it will make her very sad in her heart. And the girls who haven't read this book will think that's all right. That it's 'normal' to feel that way. That it's part of life. Which is also true. When you're with a loser. Greg told me so.
What is awesome, though, is when he chooses to spend time with you. Even if he's not feeling well. Even if it's super late at night. It makes a girl feel like the 'smokin' hot superfox' that she is. (I must be that smokin' hot superfox! Greg told me so!)
So, men, please see that it really takes so little to make a girl feel important. If you're into her, just let her know! It doesn't take much! A text. A phone call. An unassuming evening spent talking. A television show you watch together giggling about. Simple things. That add up to a whole lot. I'm just sayin'!!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Week 1: Success
It was strange. I woke up this morning excited to go to my Jenny Craig appointment to weigh in. I even dreamed about it. I dreamed I'd lost 9.78 pounds. Strange number. I have no idea where that number came from. I know there is no way, short of joining the Biggest Loser campus, would I EVER lose 9.78 pounds in a week. It's been 6 days, really.
So I stepped out of my fantasy world, and back into real life, and onto the scale. And I was very pleased with a 4.4 pound loss. I'd hoped for an even 5, but I'm happy with 4.4. Who knows? If it had been an actual week instead of 6 days, I might have had a 5 pound loss. Now, I know this isn't a typical weight loss. I know that typical is 1-2 pounds a week. And I'm going to do my darndest to not be disappointed when I do have losses like that.
But for now, I'm taking that 4.4 loss, and I'm letting it inspire me to have a great week again this week!
So I stepped out of my fantasy world, and back into real life, and onto the scale. And I was very pleased with a 4.4 pound loss. I'd hoped for an even 5, but I'm happy with 4.4. Who knows? If it had been an actual week instead of 6 days, I might have had a 5 pound loss. Now, I know this isn't a typical weight loss. I know that typical is 1-2 pounds a week. And I'm going to do my darndest to not be disappointed when I do have losses like that.
But for now, I'm taking that 4.4 loss, and I'm letting it inspire me to have a great week again this week!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Starting Again...Again
About 4 years ago, I joined Jenny Craig. I was amazed at how simple the program was to follow. The food was yummy. The weight came off. I was getting SO CLOSE to my goal weight! I could almost see it! I failed with only about 12 pounds to go.
So, what happened? Lots of things. Life. Love. Laziness.
Yesterday, I decided NO MORE! I can't live like this anymore. And the signs were everywhere. Emails. Postcards in the mail. Television commercials. A frozen muffin falling on my mom's foot. All right, I get it. I'll go back.
So today, I did. My mom and I both. We called Jenny. We weighed in. We got our week's worth of yummy food. Some of it, I missed very much. Beef Chow Mein, you and I have a lunch date. Not only today, but three other days this week! Mac and Cheese, you will be mine...several times this week. Lemon Cake? I will have my way with you! Cookies 'N Cream Cheesecake? Get in my tummy!!
I can't wait to eat all this delicious food again! I've missed the flavor. I've missed the convenience. I've missed the simplicity. I've missed losing the 2-4 pounds each week.
I will miss these things NO MORE! It's my time, and I WILL DO IT THIS TIME! Life, love, and laziness? You will NOT defeat me this time around!!
So, what happened? Lots of things. Life. Love. Laziness.
Yesterday, I decided NO MORE! I can't live like this anymore. And the signs were everywhere. Emails. Postcards in the mail. Television commercials. A frozen muffin falling on my mom's foot. All right, I get it. I'll go back.
So today, I did. My mom and I both. We called Jenny. We weighed in. We got our week's worth of yummy food. Some of it, I missed very much. Beef Chow Mein, you and I have a lunch date. Not only today, but three other days this week! Mac and Cheese, you will be mine...several times this week. Lemon Cake? I will have my way with you! Cookies 'N Cream Cheesecake? Get in my tummy!!
I can't wait to eat all this delicious food again! I've missed the flavor. I've missed the convenience. I've missed the simplicity. I've missed losing the 2-4 pounds each week.
I will miss these things NO MORE! It's my time, and I WILL DO IT THIS TIME! Life, love, and laziness? You will NOT defeat me this time around!!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
A Fresh New Start
Many things in my life are changing. I decided that my blog needed a change, too.
This year is going to be a year of gain. Gaining strength, both mentally and physically, gaining a healthy lifestyle, gaining organization in my home.
I'm starting out the year with a new outlook on life. So I'm starting out the new blog with the lyrics to a song that makes me feel strong every time I hear it.
I'm Not Going Down
I WOKE UP TODAY WITH A HEADACHE
MORE BILLS TO PAY THAN A CORPORATION
HEY, WHEN WILL IT END
MY MIRROR SAYS I COULD USE A BREAK
AN EASY DAY, SOME APPRECIATION
HEY HOW ‘BOUT A FRIEND
WHEN DAYS LIKE THESE START TO FALL IN ON ME
I GOTTA FACE MY REFLECTION AND SAY...HEY
BEEN BURNED BY THE FIRE
BEEN STUCK UNDER WATER
STRUNG UP ON A WIRE AND STILL THE WORLD GOES AROUND
BEEN TOSSED LIKE A FREE THROW
KNOCKED OUT WHEN THE WIND BLOWS
PULL THE CURTAIN ON THE HURTIN’
‘CAUSE I’M NOT GOING DOWN
(I’M NOT GOING DOWN NO NO)
INSIDE OF ME IS THE ONLY
HIGHWAY THAT LEADS TO A TRUE FREEDOM
HOLDING OUT IT’S HAND
I CLOSE MY EYES AND IT’S ALL RIGHT
THE SUN WILL SHINE ON A NEW HORIZON
JUST AROUND THE BEND
DAYS LIKE THESE BRING OUT THE STRENGTH IN ME
SO I CAN FACE MY REFLECTION AND SAY...
BEEN BURNED BY THE FIRE
BEEN STUCK UNDER WATER
STRUNG UP ON A WIRE AND STILL THE WORLD GOES AROUND
BEEN TOSSED LIKE A FREE THROW
KNOCKED OUT WHEN THE WIND BLOWS
PULL THE CURTAIN ON THE HURTIN’
‘CAUSE I’M NOT GOING DOWN
I STILL GET DIZZY AND FRANTIC, LONELY AND PANICED
BUT NEXT TIME I WON’T LET IT BEAT ME, NO
I CAN SEE CLEARLY, I KNOW WHO I AM
AND THAT’S HOW I KNOW I’VE BEGUN LIVING
BEEN BURNED BY THE FIRE
BEEN STUCK UNDER WATER
STRUNG UP ON A WIRE AND STILL THE WORLD GOES AROUND
BEEN TOSSED LIKE A FREE THROW
KNOCKED OUT WHEN THE WIND BLOWS
PULL THE CURTAIN ON THE HURTIN’
‘CAUSE I’M NOT GOING DOWN
I'm not afraid of change. In fact, I love change! I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm not afraid to finally be who I'm supposed to be!
This year is going to be a year of gain. Gaining strength, both mentally and physically, gaining a healthy lifestyle, gaining organization in my home.
I'm starting out the year with a new outlook on life. So I'm starting out the new blog with the lyrics to a song that makes me feel strong every time I hear it.
I'm Not Going Down
I WOKE UP TODAY WITH A HEADACHE
MORE BILLS TO PAY THAN A CORPORATION
HEY, WHEN WILL IT END
MY MIRROR SAYS I COULD USE A BREAK
AN EASY DAY, SOME APPRECIATION
HEY HOW ‘BOUT A FRIEND
WHEN DAYS LIKE THESE START TO FALL IN ON ME
I GOTTA FACE MY REFLECTION AND SAY...HEY
BEEN BURNED BY THE FIRE
BEEN STUCK UNDER WATER
STRUNG UP ON A WIRE AND STILL THE WORLD GOES AROUND
BEEN TOSSED LIKE A FREE THROW
KNOCKED OUT WHEN THE WIND BLOWS
PULL THE CURTAIN ON THE HURTIN’
‘CAUSE I’M NOT GOING DOWN
(I’M NOT GOING DOWN NO NO)
INSIDE OF ME IS THE ONLY
HIGHWAY THAT LEADS TO A TRUE FREEDOM
HOLDING OUT IT’S HAND
I CLOSE MY EYES AND IT’S ALL RIGHT
THE SUN WILL SHINE ON A NEW HORIZON
JUST AROUND THE BEND
DAYS LIKE THESE BRING OUT THE STRENGTH IN ME
SO I CAN FACE MY REFLECTION AND SAY...
BEEN BURNED BY THE FIRE
BEEN STUCK UNDER WATER
STRUNG UP ON A WIRE AND STILL THE WORLD GOES AROUND
BEEN TOSSED LIKE A FREE THROW
KNOCKED OUT WHEN THE WIND BLOWS
PULL THE CURTAIN ON THE HURTIN’
‘CAUSE I’M NOT GOING DOWN
I STILL GET DIZZY AND FRANTIC, LONELY AND PANICED
BUT NEXT TIME I WON’T LET IT BEAT ME, NO
I CAN SEE CLEARLY, I KNOW WHO I AM
AND THAT’S HOW I KNOW I’VE BEGUN LIVING
BEEN BURNED BY THE FIRE
BEEN STUCK UNDER WATER
STRUNG UP ON A WIRE AND STILL THE WORLD GOES AROUND
BEEN TOSSED LIKE A FREE THROW
KNOCKED OUT WHEN THE WIND BLOWS
PULL THE CURTAIN ON THE HURTIN’
‘CAUSE I’M NOT GOING DOWN
I'm not afraid of change. In fact, I love change! I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm not afraid to finally be who I'm supposed to be!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
